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I think my views on punishment have changed drastically since my… - Glimpses into neurosis....

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July 13th, 2008

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08:40 pm
I think my views on punishment have changed drastically since my internship. Whether this is because my eyes were simply opened to reality or my position as an intern was utterly abused is still to be seen, but I know I can't have been this harsh before. My first reaction whenever anything goes wrong with a kid is punish, punish, punish, and that's kind of scary. I had a bit of a breakdown (and by bit, I mean that I was up till 5AM crying on poor John's shoulder) a while ago about this, and I hadn't really realized up until that point just how bad things were. I had never told him some of the worse instances during that time period, and he seemed frankly shocked by all of it, and when asked what he would do he simply said, "I would have marched right up to my sponsor and asked to drop the internship." Coming from him- someone who hates even in theory to give up on any kid- that means quite a bit.

Going to Mass with Valerie, Mike, and Connie is always something I look forward to when I come to the Ohio trip. Today, during the service (the priest was rather feeble and difficult to understand), I caught myself wondering just how much Maggie and Brini know about Jesus and other religious events/people. I was especially curious of Maggie's knowledge because at her age I had already been in Catholic school for a year and was eagerly awaiting second grade, in which I could learn how to do confessions and take Communion like the big kids. I don't even know if she knows what that is. Asking her right now would be fruitless, as she's absorbed in playing with Katherine and Anna downstairs, but I may ask later, just out of curiousity. I don't want to force her into any Catholic ideas because I don't want her to grow up and realize that she never had a choice, like Evan and myself; however, a little information isn't always a bad thing. I'd like her to make a choice, but I would prefer that it be an informed choice rather than just a default one due to ignorance.

I need to take a shower. I'm full of slide suds, pond water, and probably a few hay stalks.

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[User Picture]
Date:July 14th, 2008 01:14 am (UTC)
I got your letter. I've written you back, but am delaying a couple days in hopes of adding something to it-- as soon as I find it. (Or, if I don't, sending anyway, and sending more later, nothing wrong with that.)

You can read my reply when you get it, but just to say... You really have the patience of a saint, Lindsay. And John is right. *hugs* I'm here if you could use another ear.

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